Posted by: Teri Simon | 2012/12/09

Well, that caught me up on the news!

crazyHello, my friends and welcome to this week’s muddled mess of blog.  I remember some time ago typing something slow and poignant and I was hopped up on so many drugs and chemo that the message got caught up in a hot mess.  It was kinda funny.  Of course, I fixed it, much to the chagrin of those whose lives had/have become that hot mess.

So tonight, I’m forging ahead. It’s been  a hot mess of a week, and a bit of a new lifestyle.  Going onto hospice care seems to freak EVERYbody out.  I’m not gonna lie -it’s hard.  I’m tired 100% of the time,  As in 100% of the time.

I have to tell you that I STILL don’t understand why people enjoy being out of control or getting high.  I HATE being out of control. I need help for everything from using the bathroom and bathing, to eating and getting comfy in bed.  But if I tell you I’m starting to do better around the parameters of being in hospice care, maybe you’ll start to understand that hospice doesn’t mean “death” and doesn’t mean “bad”, it can also mean “recovery” and “good”.

See, when you’re first diagnosed, everybody thinks you’re going to die a week from next Thursday. Then, crazy bitch that you are, you don’t die a week from next Thursday. You work your treatment plan, then get a little bit of a break, and you actually can live your life. The sad thing is, that that doesn’t last. The body breaks down. Some cancer dies. Some healthy tissue dies. You change your plans over and over again.

Eventually, the body says, “I can’t do this anymore, at least not right now.” And hospice sweeps in and says, “we can help you feel better!” Unfortunately the general public believes, you’re once again going to die a week from next Thursday.

Rest assured my friends, I am very tired. I am very grateful for how much excellent care I have right now from so many varied places. And I’m going to keep forging forward, hopefully to a place where I can try treatment again.

Meanwhile in other important news, apparently the Kardashians’ dog has gone missing.

With love and a super good week,

Teri, the Flying Elephant.

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Responses

  1. Teri, to read this entry and feel your incredible hopefulness and honesty is such a gift. Thinking of you and your family now and forever.

  2. Not sure what a “hot mess” is…but we’re happy to hear from YOU (not your lovely subs). Glad to hear hospice care is bringing comfort in every way…and, no, I do not believe you’re gonna die Thursday. When you feel less tired, let’s re-schedule my visit. In the meantime, love and hugs…

  3. Wow, I’m impressed-not only caught up on the news (so sorry, didn’t hear about the K dog), but willingness to relinquish a teeny-tiny bit of CONTROL. Totally impressed, From One Superlative Control Freak to Another!

  4. Yes the public and even friends and family who have heard it all before still ‘believe’ hospice = X. Only because in my story beyond my lung cancer is my wife’s nearly quarter century with Multiple Sclerosis and depending on which
    State you live in hospice care actually equals ‘Y’. …I have often contended it is Hallmark card contamination of America there are only “get well soon” or “else” cards. Glad to read you again.

    Patrick

  5. I know you will be around for lots & lots of Thursdays, and I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself.

  6. So good to see and read your post this morning. You words are SO true. We think of you everyday our dear Teri.

  7. HayHello teri

    FIRST HAPPY HAPPY HANUCHKA SECOND YOU ARE AMAZING PERSON ALWAY I BELIVE IN YOU THIRD I LOVE YOU WOMAN I HOPE I CAN COME TO SEE YOU THIS WEEK. AND HAVE SOME SUSH LOVE AZITA

    ________________________________

  8. Your an amazing woman Teri Simon Jack

  9. Ha! That’s the wit I love!

  10. Sending love and prayers for your upcoming week as I await your next bounce back!!

  11. Your posts say it all. I’m tired too. Sounds like chemo vacation is just the right ticket. I’m glad hospice is helping you and I love your description of them. Sometimes I think people see me and say “oh I can’t believe that bitch is still alive!”. Ha. Keep forging.

  12. Great to hear from you Teri! Many Blessings!


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